


A Little's Enough

by jewelianna88



Category: One Tree Hill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-02
Updated: 2008-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-18 13:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewelianna88/pseuds/jewelianna88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer after junior year.  Friends with Benefits.  They were so much smarter than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little's Enough

"Heads up!"

Peyton looked up just in time to duck the Frisbee sailing toward her head. It bounced off her cooler and landed in the sand by her towel. Lucas skidded in behind it, crashing down at her side. So much for a quiet morning on the beach, she thought.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked, plucking the book from her hands. School had ended a week ago, and everyone was gone. Everyone but Lucas.

"Summer reading list. Figured I'd get a head start since there's nothing else to do around here." Peyton took back _The Grapes of Wrath_ and folded down the corner of the page. "I know you like Steinbeck and all, but this is just plain boring."

"How can you say this is boring? It's about the courage to move on, the buoyancy of the American spirit when faced with devastation." There was so much conviction in his voice that he almost won her over. Almost.

"Yeah, but I just read a chapter about a turtle crossing the road. I think I'm even more bored than I was before." She glared at the book with disdain- summer reading sucked. It was like those people who tried to put wheat germ in ice cream, desperate to ruin a good thing.

"Let's just agree to disagree on this one." Luke pulled a bottle of water out of her cooler and took a long drink. "Have you talked to Brooke lately?"

Peyton laughed. "You mean since you asked me this morning? No. Is this really gonna to be the basis of every conversation we have this summer?"

Lucas sucked in a breath and squinted down at her. "Pathetic, right?"

"Very. And no, I haven't heard from her. You know, you could call her yourself." She watched the discomfort wash over his face.

"I don't know. We left things so weird. I wouldn't know what to say." He sifted sand through his fingers, and Peyton watched, mesmerized. It was far more interesting than _The Grapes of Wrath._ "You heard from Jake?"

"No. I think he's got bigger things on his mind than me." She wondered if he'd found Jenny, or if he was okay on the road. She wished she'd been brave enough to go with him. She wished her heart didn't feel like it was held together with Scotch tape and string.

Lucas nudged her shoulder, and she smiled at him lightly. "Pathetic," she reiterated.

"Yup."

He stayed with her for the rest of the morning, until his shift started at the café and she had to head indoors or risk serious sun damage. It was just comfortable between them, and with Brooke gone and Haley back on tour after a brief appearance before Nathan left for camp, he was fast becoming her best friend.

* * *

There wasn't a lot to do in Tree Hill for a couple of broke teenagers. They went to a movie that night, the summer slasher flick that had Peyton crawling into Lucas's arms at every jolt on the screen.

On the way home, she clung to his arm as they wandered by the dark alley beside the theater. "Okay, who decided it was a good idea to see that movie when I've got to go home to an empty house tonight?" she asked rhetorically.

They turned in the direction of her house, and he offered her his jacket as she shivered in the night air. Wrapped up in the scent of him, she walked through Tree Hill. It was a quiet night, but she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. It had been chasing her since the night that woman showed up on her doorstep.

"Want me to stay?" Lucas asked, and she eyed him shyly. She hated to keep asking him for favors, for making it seem like she couldn't make it on her own.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"My house is as empty as yours is, remember?" Lucas wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close. "Maybe I need you to keep the monsters away too."

In her room, he stripped to his T-shirt and boxers and climbed into bed beside her. She shivered in the air conditioning and pulled up the covers. Lucas was warm beside her, and as she settled in for the night, knowing that he was there made everything just a little bit better.

* * *

She slept better than she had since Jake left. When the sunlight woke her in the morning, she winced, cursing herself for not pulling the curtains before bed. She started to slide away, hoping to yank them down and earn another hour or two of darkness, but something stopped her.

Lucas. His arm was thrown around her waist, chest pressed against her back. As she shifted, he pulled her closer and nuzzled into her neck.

"Luke," she whispered, rolling back a bit trying to see him. He only pulled her tighter, and whoa. Someone was happy in the morning.

Terrible, awful thoughts rolled through her mind. There was a time that she would have loved a quickie in the morning. Back when she dated Nathan it had been her favorite way to start the day. Too bad things had changed.

Oh, who was she kidding? She would still love it. But they were friends, and if the past year had proved anything, it was that they were definitely better at being friends than at dating. Plus, he was in love with Brooke.

Reluctantly, she lifted his arm and scooted away. He stirred awake, blinking as she slid out of bed and stumbled to pull the shade down before coming back, on top of the covers. She carefully left space between them.

"Hey," he said, voice hoarse with morning. He held up an arm, expecting her to slide back in, looking confused as she hesitated before realizing why. He quickly dropped his arm and rolled to his side. "Oh, ah. Sorry."

"It's okay, Lucas. Just go back to sleep." She closed her eyes and pretended to doze hoping that he would just fall asleep and neither of them would remember the awkwardness when they woke up again. He tossed and turned beside her for several minutes, before quietly whispering her name.

She didn't respond, expecting he would give up. The last thing she expected was for him to ease out of bed and slink into her bathroom closing the door. Her eyes opened wide in shock. Oh, there was no way he would…

She didn't mean to listen, but couldn't help it. The faint slap of skin, and one sharp sigh that was just loud enough for her to hear. The toilet flushed, the tap ran for a moment, and when the door opened she snapped her eyes shut again and pretended that she slept through the whole thing.

It was going to be one, long summer.

* * *

They didn't talk about it, at all, for which Peyton was incredibly grateful. Still, she wondered. They'd spent the night together before. Was it just a teenage boy thing? Was it her? Had that happened when Haley slept over his house for all those years?

Clearly, she was sexually frustrated if she was lusting after her semi-ex, who had just told her best friend that he wanted to be with her. Even if that semi-ex was Lucas, with that giant "unfinished business" sign flashing over his head. There was still that punch to the gut if he looked at her the right way, no matter how much her brain tried to dodge the blow.

If the universe had any sympathy at all, it would find some wonderful rocker boy to blow into town and take her mind off of Lucas.

She got a flier in the mail that day that Chris Keller would be doing a show nearby and almost threw up in the bushes. Clearly, God had a sick sense of humor.

She'd expected Lucas to avoid her after that morning, but he still showed up most days to hang out, either before or after his shifts at the café. She knew he missed his mom, and being there helped him feel closer to her. Deb would be staring on the renovations soon, and the café would be closed for several weeks.

Brooke called often from LA with tales of the many men she met around town. Peyton gave her the briefest outline of what was going on in Tree Hill, but it wasn't the same over the phone. Brooke couldn't see her face or give encouraging hugs. Not the way Lucas could.

When her dad came home, things only got worse. They fought a lot in those first few days, and Peyton ended up running to Lucas's house most evenings. Her dad would call over and Lucas would assure him that she was fine. Then they'd watch TV reruns or listen to music late into the night before crashing in his bed, surrounded by Brooke's things.

"You know he loves you, right?" Lucas whispered one night as Peyton fought back tears. She couldn't understand why everything had to keep getting more confusing.

"I don't think it'd hurt so much if he didn't," was all she could answer. Lucas rubbed her back and she wept, until she fell asleep wondering if she'd ever feel secure in the world again.

* * *

Another day, another awkward conversation with her father, and another walk to Lucas's house searching for a distraction; there really was nothing to do.

They found a bottle of peppermint schnapps at Luke's house, awful stuff that tasted like mouthwash, but they indulged anyway, just to kill the time. The air conditioning was cranked up as high as it would go, but it still wasn't enough to keep out the sticky humidity of a North Carolina summer. Peyton crashed on the couch in his front room, and Luke passed right by the chairs to sprawl on the floor. They hadn't moved in hours except to pass the bottle between them.

"I think I'm gonna cut my hair," Peyton said, pulling out her curls and watching them bounce back into place. It was something she thought about whenever she was bored- cut it, dye it, just something to make tomorrow different from today.

"Why?" Luke stared at her funny.

"I don't know. I just want to be my own person, you know? I don't want to look like her." 'Her' referred to Peyton's birth mother, since she didn't like that title, and didn't want to say her real name.

Luke knelt in front of her, and slipped his fingers into her hair. "Don't do anything drastic. I like your hair."

"Just something I'm thinking about." She looked down, waiting for him to slip away, but he didn't. Instead, he brushed a tendril of hair back behind her ear and kept his eyes on her. She tried smiling, but a blush crept up her cheeks. This was intimate.

She was just about to say something to break the ice when he leaned forward and kissed her. His lips were slick with minty alcohol and it was such a shock that she couldn't do anything but gasp a little and let him kiss her. It was soft and innocent, but it sent a rush of flame right through her.

He pulled back a little, and he was smiling. "Oops," was all he said.

"Oops?" Her heart pounded in her chest.

"Oops. I don't think we were supposed to do that." He sat back on his heels, hands on her knees.

They really weren't, but Lucas was right there, and she just couldn't resist any more.

She grabbed the front of his T-shirt and pulled him back to her. He came willingly, and closed the last few inches on his own accord. This time, they kissed with fire, and tongue. It was enough to make Peyton shiver. He knelt between his legs, hands gliding up her thighs to rest at her hips as his mouth did incredible things to hers.

It felt so good. Too good. She knew that this could get out of control, fast, and still had enough sobriety to not let that happen. Gently, she pressed a hand to Luke's chest and eased away from him. "Not supposed to be doing this," she repeated.

"Right." He licked his lips, and, God, that just made her want to kiss him again, it was so hot. "Because we're friends."

"Friends." Peyton kept her eyes on his lips. "Friends don't kiss like that."

"Not unless they're friends with benefits." Brooke had set the standard for that with Felix, and they both had seen the pain it caused everyone involved. It was a really bad idea.

So Peyton was completely surprised at herself when she heard the words "If it was just for the summer" falling from her mouth. She could see Luke mulling over the idea, trying to make sense of it.

"No one would have to know. It's just something to do." He watched her face, searching for a sign that this was a bad idea. She didn't give him any.

"Better than cold showers, right? But no sex," was her only condition. "We kiss, we do other stuff, but no sex." Sex was for love, or at least the hope of love. Not something you tied to a temporary fling.

"Deal." To seal the pact, Lucas leaned forward and kissed her again. She let him this time, opening her mouth, remembering the things he liked from their fling earlier in the year.

Somehow, he ended up stretched out on top of her on the couch, kissing until her jaw ached. She wistfully traced the line of his shoulder through the cotton of his shirt. Slowly he withdrew, despite her attempts to pull him back.

"Where're you going?" she asked with a pout.

He grinned at her and bent for one more kiss. "To pee. But I'll be back and we can pick this up again."

She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. Friends with Benefits. They were so much smarter than that.

* * *

She decided to give her dad a break and went home for the night once she'd sobered up a little bit. She pulled a hand through her hair on the walk back, trying to make sense of the long afternoon make-out session.

She knew it was a really bad idea, but something inside her just didn't care. Her parents had lied to her, her best friend had left for the summer, and the guy who did love her couldn't be with her. Luke was the only one who stayed. When he kissed her, she didn't think about all the people who had left. It was enough.

It was so ridiculous, but Lucas was her Achilles' heal. And he was such a good kisser. Without Brooke nearby, that constant state of guilt after kissing him was obliterated. That itself almost made her feel guilty, and she pulled out her cell phone and dialed, sinking to sit on her front steps as Brooke's phone rang in her ear.

A strange voice answered, "Hello?" Strange, and definitely male.

"Um, hi? Is Brooke there?"

"Yeah, hang on. She just ran over to the bar for a second." Peyton waited, amused, until she heard shuffling on the other end of the line.

"Peyton? Hi, sorry. I don't know why Juan picked up the phone."

"Who's Juan?" Peyton asked, genuinely curious. You could never tell with Brooke.

"Oh, he's just a friend. His father owns this amazing house in Malibu and he invited me up for the weekend. You wouldn't believe the parties out here. They make Tree Hill look like Podunk, Nebraska or something."

"Sounds like you're having fun. I guess you're not waiting around for Lucas, then?" She bit her lip, hoping for the answer.

"Please. I can't handle his eleventh-hour declaration of whatever. Besides, you should see the boys out here. It's like an Abercrombie calendar burst to life and it's all mine."

Peyton shook her head at the unadulterated glee in her friend's voice. "Well, hey, you have fun then. Send me updates."

"Will do. Gotta run. Take care of yourself, P. Sawyer."

"You too." She slid the phone closed and rose, sighing heavily before heading inside to deal with her father.

If Brooke wasn't going to spend her summer pining for Lucas, Peyton wasn't going to feel bad about whatever was going on between them. She could handle this. It would be a summer fling, nothing more, just something to pass the time.

She tried to convince herself that was all it was going to be, but even as she focused on the word "casual" she knew that it was going to be so much more.

* * *

So they hung out. They would read together, or go grocery shopping. They went to get ice cream fresh from the dairy and watched the cows as they ate their cones. They made plans to redecorate Lucas's room as soon as Brooke came back for her stuff.

And they kissed. Long lazy kisses on a steamy summer evening, sitting on his back porch until mosquitoes chased them inside. They didn't talk about it, but she knew when he got that look in his eye that he was done with whatever they were doing and ready for some action. Most of the time, she was wondering what had taken him so long to catch up.

It was filling in all the gaps from their short-lived fling that had always been laced with guilt. Now, she could block out the world and just enjoy being with Lucas.

For the Fourth of July, Tree Hill went all-out with a town barbecue and fireworks on the beach. Lucas caught a ride with Peyton and her dad, and together they enjoyed hot dogs cooked over the giant bonfire. Her dad and Luke did most of the talking.

"You heard from your mom recently, Luke?" Larry asked as they settled onto a blanket.

Lucas finished his giant mouthful of watermelon before answering, nodding as he chewed. "Yeah, she's loving New Zealand. Says it looks just like the _Lord of the Rings_ movies. I guess Andy's trying to make sure she sees as much of the country as possible before she has to come home."

"That's great," he said, truly smiling. "You tell her I said hello next time you talk."

"I will," Lucas promised. He eyed Peyton warily. She smiled, mouthful of seeds hidden. "You're going to spit those at me, aren't you?"

Her smile widened and she spit out the tiny black seeds. Lucas grimaced and tried to duck away.

"That's disgusting," her father said with a shake of his head.

"You're the one who taught me how to do it. Remember how was used to spit them off the deck of the beach house we rented when I was eight?" The memory was one of her favorites, the last vacation they'd taken before her mom died.

"How could I forget?" Larry leaned over to wrap an arm around his daughter and pulled her into a hug. She leaned into the embrace, wanting to forget all the drama and just be his little girl for a moment.

Lucas stood and pulled off his shirt. "I'm gonna go wash off."

"Me too," Peyton said, kicking off her flip-flops and pulling off the loose jersey dress she wore over her bikini. "You okay here dad?"

"Yup. I'm gonna go say hi to the Millers over there." He got up and wandered to a nearby couple, leaving Peyton and Luke to run down into the water.

The beach was crowded with families, so they walked along the shore to a quieter spot before going in. Peyton dove into the waves happily. She'd always loved the sea.

Lucas surfaced beside her and they stood together, bobbing in the gentle waves. "You and your dad seem to be getting along better," he said cautiously.

Slowly, she dragged her hand back and forth through the water. "It's touch and go. Some days are good, you know? And then something happens and we start fighting again. I almost wish he'd go take a job somewhere. We never fight when he's away."

"I think he wants to be here for you."

"I know." She splashed at him a little bit, and he responded by sending a crash of water her way. Soon it was an all out war, and she squeezed her eyes shut and swept her arms across the surface sending cascades at him. It didn't end until he grabbed her around the waist and crashed them both under the water.

He held her in his arms as they surfaced, and she couldn't help but feel just a little like a woman swept away. She kissed him lightly and tried to pull back, but he only tightened his grip.

"Luke, there are people all over the place."

"I know, and you had to wear that tiny little bikini today, didn't you?" He kept his voice low, and it shot through her, turning her on in ways she had only dreamed. Warning bells went off in her head.

Quickly, she kicked away and stood waist-deep in the water just out of arms reach. "I think you're focusing a little too much on the benefits part, and forgetting that we're here, at this big public event, as friends. With my dad," she added for extra emphasis.

She saw the guilt flood his eyes. "Peyt, I'm sorry. You're right. No more."

She kept her distance just in case, but he was true to his word. They stayed in the water playing until something swam by and brushed her knee, sending her running back onto the shore in panic. Lucas waded in behind her laughing, and she punched him for mocking her when he arrived on the beach. Her dad was waiting back by their towels and looked ready to leave.

"You kids should stay, though," he encouraged. "Enjoy the fireworks."

"We can crash at Dan's beach house," Lucas offered. "So you don't have to come back for us later tonight with all the traffic getting out of here."

Larry looked back and forth between them. Peyton had stayed over at Lucas or Nathan's house plenty of times, and Jake was practically living with her the past spring. Still, her father had never exactly given permission for the coed sleeping arrangements. Finally, he nodded, and Peyton hugged him fiercely before he left. How could he be such a great dad, and still have kept so many things from her?

Later, they watched the fireworks from the deck of the beach house, sipping sodas as they lounged in Adirondack chairs. Peyton watched the lights tint Lucas's face different hues, the boom of the explosions echoing down the beach.

When it was over they went inside and cleaned up. Lucas raided Nathan's closet there and tossed her a T-shirt to sleep in. She took it into the bathroom, and showered off the salt and sand of the day. When she got out, she heard water running in the master bathroom and knew he was doing the same.

Swiping at the steamy mirror, Peyton stared at her reflection, trying to figure out what she saw there. Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. She was supposed to have her father's ears and her mother's hair. Now she knew that wasn't true. So where did those things come from?

Frustrated, she turned away and dressed, wringing her hair dry with a towel. When she opened the door, Lucas was coming down the hall in a pair of loose basketball shorts.

"Hey. You can sleep in the master bedroom if you want. I'll crash in Nathan's room." He stood awkwardly before her.

She crossed an arm across her chest, wondering what had brought on this weirdness. "Separate rooms? Am I being punished?"

"I just thought after what you said earlier. Friends first, Peyton. Always." He looked at her sheepishly and her heart melted.

Reaching for his hand, she led him toward the master bedroom. "You're the only good thing I've got right now, Luke. Just hold me, okay?"

Climbing onto the bed behind her, he wrapped an arm around her waist. "You know that no matter what happened in the past, you are still the same person. You're still Peyton. You're still this incredible artist, cheerleader, friend. You're still you, Peyton. Don't let anyone take that away from you. And don't tell yourself there's nothing good in your life."

She sniffled into the pillow. "I said there was one good thing."

"That's a start." Squeezing her tighter, he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Go to sleep. It's been a good day. Don't let your fears destroy that."

She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Two days later, he watched as her long curls fell to the floor of a salon. The stylist had been reluctant to make the cut, but she was insistent.

When it was done, she looked in the mirror, not recognizing the girl who stared back at her.

"Do you hate it?" she asked, nervously.

Lucas pulled her into his arms and kissed her on her newly straightened hair. "I love it. It's different, but you still look beautiful."

A smile bloomed across her lips and she hugged him back. It was exactly what she'd hoped he would say.

* * *

Slowly, the story started to come out. It resulted in a lot of slamming doors, until her father threatened to take hers off.

She pouted on her bed, trying to figure out what she'd done to deserve all of this crap in her life. It didn't help that Brooke called just when she was in the foulest of moods.

"Peyton, you have GOT to come visit me. Guilt your dad into buying you a plane ticket. The boys here are JUST what you need to get over Jake."

Pulling at the ends of her now straight hair, Peyton sighed. "Brooke, I don't want to get over Jake. I've got enough to deal with right now, I don't need guy stress."

An exasperated noise sounded in her ear, and she glanced at the clock, wondering if Lucas was home from work yet. "Honey, I'm worried about you. I just thought getting out of there for a while might help. Taking a break from all the drama, you know?"

It was a tempting offer. "Thanks, but I think that I just need to deal with this. It's not gonna disappear if I run away from it, you know?" People always leave, she thought. When the going gets tough, and all that. She wasn't going to be one of them.

She listened while Brooke talked about the hot actor she'd met at lunch, tuning out the details of how this guy was going to be next great thing. When she started complaining about her mom, Peyton made an excuse to get off the phone.

Anger boiled up again when she thought about the woman who was her mother, and the one who wasn't. She couldn't figure out which was which.

Not wanting to figure it out, she grabbed her purse and headed out, walking the sunny sidewalks to Lucas's house. She used the key he'd given her to get inside.

When he got home she was sitting on his bed in nothing but her underwear. He didn't even say hello before joining her.

* * *

"Have you heard from Brooke recently?" Lucas asked. They were sitting on the picnic table at the Rivercourt sipping icy coffee drinks. Peyton played with her straw, making squeaking noises with the plastic while she thought about how to answer.

"Do you really love her, Luke? Cause, I mean, it's sorta out of the blue, you know? And she's there, you're here, we're…" She trailed off, not knowing how to describe what they were.

Luke sucked up the last of his drink, and shot the empty cup into the trashcan, fadeaway style. It hit the bottom with a hollow clunk. "I don't know. I know I think about her. I miss her. When I think about starting next year, I think about being with her. I don't know, it's just. With the past year and everything that happened, I just want a second chance to make things right. Wouldn't you want that with Jake?"

"Yeah," she answered, but her heart wasn't in it. She loved Jake, but somehow she knew that they would never be together in the way she'd once imagined. "Anyway, I talked to Brooke the other day. She's having fun."

She didn't tell him about the boys, but she could tell by his expression that he understood. "Want to go back to my place?"

A part of her really did, but a bigger part didn't want to be a stand-in for Brooke. "Actually, I was gonna head over to the mall for a while. Wanna come?"

He smiled and took her hand, leading her off of the picnic table. "Sure." He kept his hand in hers as they walked to the car, warm and strong and comforting.

* * *

Later that week, he suggested a trip to the pool. She'd wrinkled her nose at the idea of the Tree Hill Public Swimming Pool, but he'd just grinned and made her get in the car. An hour later, the sun beat down on them in Dan's backyard. Deb had taken him to a plastic surgeon in Raleigh for the weekend, and Lucas wanted to take advantage of the pool. Peyton didn't mention the times she and Nathan had spent here. She knew it weirded him out to think of her with his brother. Besides, the chance to make some new memories here was too good to pass up.

Peyton loved the way Lucas took off his shirt. It was so ridiculous, but when he grabbed the collar and pulled it over his head, her breath caught and her heart pounded. He was really, really the most gorgeous specimen of a man that she'd ever encountered.

He caught her staring as he stripped and slowly smiled. "See something you like?"

"Mmmm, maybe," she taunted. They'd been doing this Friends with Benefits thing for a month, and so often it was when one of them was upset or lonely. She'd almost forgotten this feeling of lustful need that coursed through her.

He stood in front of her in his swim trunks and smiled. "So, are you gonna come get it?"

Oh, yeah. She grabbed his arm and tugged him backward into the water. With a splash they landed in the deep end, swallowed up by the chlorine blue. When she surfaced, he tugged her under again, and found her deep below the surface. The kiss was a surprise, and she held him until her lungs burned for air.

Gasping they surfaced, still clinging together. Eyes locked, they bobbed in the slowing calming water.

His hands dipped below the surface and made her gasp. "Lucas!"

"Like that?" he asked, as his thumb rubbed a nipple through the thin fabric of her bikini. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks as he slipped his hand beneath the swimsuit top. She shivered, despite the heat of the day.

With a strong kick, Lucas had her pressed against the wall, a strong thigh wedged between her knees. Her feet touched the ledge that ran along the perimeter under water, and she planted one foot there. She wrapped her other leg around Lucas's back, pulling him closer into her.

He framed her face with his hands, kissing her until her head spun. He lifted her up until she was sitting on his bent knee. His hands slipped to her waist, his mouth relentless against hers.

She felt his fingers dancing along the swimsuit waistband, and moaned helplessly when they slipped below. She was ready for him, sucking in a breath as he teased her gently, letting it out in a gasp as he slipped two fingers inside her.

She rocked her head back against the pool's edge and stared at the sun as her body soared. His fingers twisted and turned inside her, teasing sensitive corners she'd never known existed.

Nathan had NEVER been this good.

It built in layers, each more exquisite than the next, and when she came, it surged from her toes, waves that left nothing in her mind except Lucas.

Panting, she could do nothing but smile as she tipped her head forward. Lucas looked as giddy as she felt, and he kissed her with hunger still not satisfied.

"Wow," she laughed, dropping soft kissed across his shoulders. "You are REALLY good at that."

"I do what I can." The words were modest but the expression on his face was anything but. She slowly unraveled herself from him, twisting them around until he was pressed between her and the wall. He tried to thrust against her, but she lost her balance and slipped back into the deep.

"Try this," she offered, and motioned for him to hop up so he was sitting on the edge of the pool. She stood between his legs, hands on his knees.

It had never been her favorite thing to do, but her body was still humming from an incredible orgasm and she was feeling generous. With deft hands she untied the string on his trunks and reached inside. His hands buried in her hair, guiding her gently as she took him in her mouth.

It didn't take long. His thighs tensed beneath her hands and his breath hitched. "Peyt," he whispered, hands at her shoulders as if to push her away. She knew she could pull away, but rode through the orgasm with him, swallowing quickly until his hands relaxed and she slipped back under the water, letting the taste of chlorine wash out her mouth.

When she surfaced, she smoothed her hair back out of her eyes and watched as Lucas jumped in as well. He adjusted his shorts and pulled her to him.

With a soft kiss, he smiled against her mouth and she felt happiness bubble up from somewhere deep inside. "Damn."

"Mmmm." She leaned her head back and laughed as he spun them in a circle. "I'd forgotten how good that was."

"Poor sexually frustrated Peyton," he teased, causing her to flip him off and kick away. She swam to the shallow end and sat on the steps, watching as he walked slowly through the water to her. She wasn't sexually frustrated, was she? She'd had two, almost three, different guys last year. That was more than most girls in her school.

"Can I ask you something?" she began, not knowing if this was going to cross a line.

"Sure." He sat down next to her and let his feet float out in the water.

"How many girls have you had sex with?" She thought back to the Boy Toy auction night, and the conversation with Nathan in the pool.

He sucked in a breath and looked away.

"Sorry, that's too personal," she quickly covered, but he looked back at her and laughed lightly.

"No, it's not that. You just have to promise you'll never tell Nathan or any of the other guys."

"Promise." She made the sign of an 'x' over her heart.

"Or Brooke," he said again, and she nodded.

"Okay. Using the Clintonian definition, then. Two. Brooke and Nicki." He paused, then snuck a look at her from the corner of his eye. "Is it really that obvious?"

"What?" Shocked, she slid down a step to look him in the eye. "No, Luke, trust me this was NOT like that. I mean, just. Wow. No, I just. What you said about being sexually frustrated got me thinking about everything that happened this past year. And I just wondered, I mean. We agreed no sex 'cause I think we're both in the same place about that, so I just wondered. Forget about it, really."

"What about you?" he blurted out. "Nathan, and… Jake?"

She nodded shyly. "That's the whole sordid list." She sat in silence for a minute. "Remember when you said it's always gonna be there? You and me?"

He nodded quietly. "I think about it, sometimes. If we didn't have the history, if we didn't have these other people. Brooke, and Jake."

"It'd be a whole different world."

A lawn mower started up in the distance, and Peyton stared at her wrinkled fingers. "I'm hungry," she declared, changing the conversation. Chickening out, again.

"Let's go raid the fridge," Lucas suggested, leaving the water. Peyton watched him walk for a minute before rising to follow.

"So you really lost you're virginity to Brooke? Did she know?"

Peyton laughed as the blush spread across Lucas's chest. "We never, like, talked about it but I think she figured it out.

Peyton held off a giggle and filed that away as a story to get from Brooke someday. She took the towel Lucas offered to her and thought about what he'd said earlier. In a different world that could have been her.

A different world, she thought. One they got to play in during the summer, but wouldn't last.

* * *

Finally she went back to the cemetery. She'd been avoiding this place since that first visit with her dad that summer, not knowing how to confront her mother's memory in light of the information about Ellie. She stood before the headstone for a long time before sinking to the ground.

"Why couldn't you have just told me, mom? I wouldn't have loved you any less and this would be so much easier now." Tears threatened to fall and she brushed them away with the back of her hand.

She knew there wouldn't be an answer, but she sat and waited, hoping for some clarity that might come.

She heard footsteps on the dry summer grass and looked up, surprised to see Lucas walking toward her slowly. "Well, well. I thought you'd be here," he said, leaning against the tree.

She hugged her knees to her chest and stared up at him. How could he know her so well? It had been less than a year since they'd been more than faces in the school hallway to each other, and yet he knew everything she was thinking. It was a little spooky.

"I haven't been here since having it out with my dad. I was afraid it would be different."

"Is it?" Lucas sank down to sit beside her, following her gaze to the carved letters on the stone.

"I don't know. She's still my mom, Luke. I just never thought I'd be angry at her again. I thought that I'd finally gotten to a place where I wasn't mad at her for dying any more and there could just be some peace. Then Ellie showed up and ruined all of that."

"You know," Lucas began, picking at the grass as he spoke, "when I was little, like four or five, when I first began to realize that other kids had a dad and I didn't, I asked my mom if Keith was my dad. And she explained to me that my real dad wasn't around, and Keith was my uncle and would do everything with me that a dad would do with other kids. So I asked her if I could call him Dad."

Peyton watched him tell the story, watching as his eyes gazed off in memory.

"She told me that it doesn't take anything to be a dad. Any man can do it. But to be a Keith, that's something special. A guy had to be really special to be an Uncle Keith. And I got that, you know? Cause I had something other kids didn't. And that was okay."

He nudged her shoe until she looked at him. He smiled so warmly that her heart melted a little bit. "You've got that to, you know? You've got an Anna, and a Larry. That's special. Anyone can be a parent biologically. But we're the lucky ones. We've got people who wanted to be there for us. Remember that."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and let her tip her head down. She felt an acceptance begin to grow in her heart for her mom and dad, the real ones.

And in that moment, as peace settled around her, she knew that she was falling for Lucas.

* * *

Slowly, she became comfortable around him, to the point where there were no boundaries between them. She couldn't explain it, because it was like nothing she'd ever had before. There was a trust that went deeper than any connection she had to another person. With Nathan, there had never been trust, no matter how much she wished it were so. Jake had been different, but she knew that she would never have been first in his life. It was selfish, but she needed that security of knowing whatever happened, someone would be there.

Lucas was different. He would show up with fresh bagels in the morning, or help her dad with the motor on his temperamental lawn mower. He was just there, and she realized somewhere around the middle of August that she'd actually started to expect he would be.

For a skeptic, she certainly had fallen hard.

With the café due to reopen soon, they spent most of their days as lazy as possible. That meant long afternoons at the Rivercourt, where he'd shoot hoops alone, or with the neighborhood guys. She'd draw, or listen to music, the constant thunk of the ball against concrete slowing fading into the background.

They got caught in the rain on the way back one day, completely soaked through and muddy as they dashed back across the field. Lucas ran hunched over her sketchbook, trying to keep it dry. They burst into his kitchen, dripping all over the floor.

"Is it ruined?" he asked as she carefully spread out the loose pages. Only the edges were a bit wet.

"It's fine. Thanks." She leaned up on tiptoes and kissed him gently, one hand caressing his cheek. He smiled against her lips and kissed her back.

The air conditioning was going full blast, and Peyton shivered in her wet clothes. "I'm gonna go take a shower, warm up. Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Sure." Lucas stepped aside, letting her pass down the hall. She left the door ajar, stripping her clothes off to hang on the hooks behind the door. Lucas's shower was moody, but cooperated after a few loud clangs. Steam rose as she stepped into the spray.

Seconds later, the curtain pulled aside and Lucas stepped in behind her.

"What are you doing?" she laughed, turning to face him. She rested her hands on his shoulders as his came to her waist.

"Conserving water," he replied, and kissed her deeply. She melted into his arms, giving in to the heat of the shower. His kisses were quick and urgent, strangely tasteless as the water cascaded down on top of them. She felt his growing hardness against her stomach and leaned in further, eliciting a groan from him.

"You know," she said, as he slipped away from her mouth to trail kisses along her neck, "there's not a lot of hot water here. We shouldn't get distracted." His hand came to her breast, and she lost rational thought as he purposefully rubbed a nipple with his thumb.

She ducked her head to claim his mouth again, letting her own hands wander. Any thoughts of cold were long gone. She felt like her blood was close to boiling. Aided by the water that continued to fall on them, she let her hands wrap around him. His mouth pulled away as he moaned, and his forehead dropped to her shoulder.

"Like that?" she whispered into his ear, letting her hand twist and turn as she moved it back and forth. There was a burst of pain as he nipped on her shoulder blade. She responded by running her free hand up his chest and tweaking a nipple. His mouth stayed busy, latched on and sucking, probably leaving a mark. She didn't care.

With a moan, he stiffened and she knew he was close. At the same time, the pipes groaned and the shower started to sputter. Suddenly, they were blasted with cold water. Shrieking, Peyton tried to duck out of the way, leaving Lucas confused until the cold water splashed on his skin. Disoriented, he leapt from the tub, forgetting the curtain, ripping it down as the two of them fell to the bathroom floor.

Peyton grabbed her knee when it banged against the toilet and groaned. "Okay, ow. That really hurts!"

Luke blinked, then laughed, pulling Peyton into his lap. He reached up and twisted the faucet to stop the wild spray of water that was slowly drenching the bathroom. Peyton pulled her hair back and twisted it, tucking loose strands behind her ears. Her legs pressed against Lucas, still aroused beneath her.

"Do you think that's a sign?" she asked as her hands crept back to work. Lucas sucked in a breath and surged to kiss her, burying his hands in her hair so it dripped on her shoulders again.

"Not a sign. Don't stop," he begged. In moments, he went tense beneath her, and with moaning sigh, released into her hand. She kept her eyes on his, until he slowly relaxed, resting his hand on top of hers. For a moment, neither of them moved, eyes locked in a silent conversation.

Finally, Peyton leaned away, reaching for the toilet paper to wipe off her hand. Lucas grabbed the facecloth from the bottom of the tub, and two dry towels from under the sink. He wrapped one around his hips, then turned to Peyton and held the other open for her.

She couldn't help but smile as he wrapped it around her. He rubbed her arms to warm her again, and an electric jolt rushed through her system. It was getting bad- the littlest touch from him set her off in ways no other boy ever had.

He tipped her chin and dropped a sweet little kiss on her lips before saying "Your turn," and pulling her out of the bathroom and around the corner to bed.

It wasn't love, maybe, but right then, as the rain pounded outside and Lucas's mouth trailed down her body, she knew that this was something more than either of them expected.

* * *

"Well, well. If it isn't my reject son, and my other son's reject girlfriend."

Peyton looked up from the table where she and Lucas were having lunch. Dan Scott loomed over them, literally blocking the sun from their day.

"What do you want?" Lucas asked. He'd avoided Dan since the fire. With both Keith and his mom out of town, Peyton knew his father seemed all the more threatening.

"Oh, nothing. I just saw you two here and thought what a perfect pair you'd make. A couple of losers, stuck here in town while the better people know enough to get out when they can."

"Then why are you still here?" Peyton asked pointedly. She'd long since gotten over her fear of Dan Scott.

Dan only smiled. "You always were a feisty one. Good luck with her, Lucas. And hey, when Nathan finalizes his annulment, you'll be able to dump her and move on to his next reject."

Lucas just shook his head. "Whatever, Dan."

"You kids have fun now," Dan said sarcastically. "But don't make the same mistakes I did. Use a condom."

Peyton seethed as he walked away. "God, I can't believe what a complete ass he is!"

"Let it go," Lucas said. She could tell he was trying hard to seem nonchalant, but his hand was shaking as it dragged a fry through ketchup.

She took his hand to steady it and waiting until he caught her eye. "He's wrong, you know that right? We're not rejects."

"I know." Lucas took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Are you done? I'm ready to get out of here."

She nodded and carried her trash to the bins. They drove to the Rivercourt where she settled under a tree to draw. He pulled a basketball from the backseat of her car, one she hadn't even known was there. She watched him take his frustrations out on the court, wishing she could give him the comfort that he provided for her when she was upset.

He played long and hard. Finally stopping, he stood bent, hand over his chest. Something about his posture worried her, but he straightened out eventually and went back to throwing threes. When he finally left the court, he was dripping with sweat. The fire seemed to have gone from his eyes.

"Feel better?" she asked. He nodded and reached for her water bottle, draining it quickly. As they walked back to his place, neither said a word.

* * *

Toward the end of the summer, they decided to break out for the day and head to Carowinds, the closest decent amusement park. It was a long drive, so Lucas dipped into the emergency fund his mom had left and got them a hotel room near Charlotte.

On the way out, Peyton glanced at the phone as it rang in her hand. Lucas was beside her driving and she didn't really want to listen to Brooke's latest conquests of the men of LA. She pushed the voicemail button and turned up the radio.

The lines were long, so they spent most of the day navigating the switchbacks. Peyton leaned against the metal railings and tried to figure out how much longer they had to wait to get onto the Afterburn roller coaster.

Her phone rang again, and she switched it to silent before pocketing it.

"Don't feel like talking?" Lucas asked.

"It's Brooke."

"Ah. And you don't want to talk to your best friend because…" His voice trailed off, eyes concerned.

She turned away from him and followed the two paces the line moved before answering. "Because she's having this awesome amazing summer and sometimes, I just don't want to hear about how great her life is. I mean, she's my best friend, and I love her, but it just seems like we're in different worlds right now, you know?"

Lucas nodded and leaned against the rail across from her. "Fair enough." His eyes wandered for a minute before glancing back at her. "It's not because of us?"

She sighed. "Maybe a little. I mean, don't you ever feel guilty about it?"

"Sometimes. I wonder what she'd do if she found out. And I think maybe we should stop. But then," he said, as they turned the switchback and finally moved into the shade of the roller coaster's loading platform, "I think of everything with Ellie, and Dan, and my mom not being here, and it's like, if I didn't have you, nothing would make any sense at all."

"I know," she said sadly. She touched his arm. "And when the summer's over, and everyone's back, things will be better. You'll have Brooke, Haley will be in school again, basketball will start, and it'll just be… normal."

"What about you?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," she promised him. "I always am. Come on, let's sit in the front," she said, pulling him to the head of the line.

"Peyt," Lucas said, touching her arm. She glanced back at him shyly. "You know that no matter what happens when school starts again, I'll always be there for you."

"I know," she said, leaning back against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and guided her forward toward the ride.

After riding, they ate fried dough coated with powdered sugar and shared a frozen lemonade. She kissed his sticky sweet lips as they waited in line for another ride and wondered how she was going to give this all up.

"Have you talked to Haley?" she asked out of the blue.

He cocked his head and sighed. "Yeah. She's supposed to be back in town any day now. I don't really know what's going on there."

"Nathan hasn't called you either?" It was like he'd disappeared off the face of the Earth after leaving for High Fliers.

"Nope. I don't know what's going to happen when he gets back. He wasn't in the best of moods when he left."

She remembered the pain in Nathan's eyes and the sadness as she'd helped him move out of his apartment. "Can you blame him?"

"I guess not." Lucas hopped up to sit on the rail of the ride's queue. "It's pretty messed up."

"At least we know the year won't be boring," she commented lightly.

Lucas laughed. "Maybe things will just work out. Did you ever think of that?"

Right, she thought. Maybe Brooke would fall in love in LA and Lucas would be available. Maybe her dad would tell her this had all just been a big misunderstanding. Maybe Haley would come back and Nathan would forgive her and everything would just be perfect.

It could happen, she thought. Maybe. For now, though, she had Lucas, and a little bit of her dream was enough to make her happy.

* * *

"Bout time." Lucas stood in her doorway, startling her away from the wall, paintbrush in hand. "I knew you couldn't go an entire summer without doing something to your room."

"Whatever." She put down the brush and turned to him, hand on her hip. "You don't know me."

"Oh, I think I do." He bent for a hug, and she retuned it happily.

"Okay, so, check it out, Tom Sawyer. If you're lucky, I might even let you help me, and if you're really lucky, I might even let you pay to help me." She pointed the paintbrush at him temptingly, hoping to coerce some free labor. "What'ya say?"

"Brooke's home."

Two words, and she froze, knowing that they might as well have been 'the end'. This little fantasy world they'd lived in for the past two months was over.

"I went to the airport to pick up my mom, and poof, there was Brooke."

"Poof." Like magic, she thought.

"Poof."

"What are you gonna tell her?" She waited, holding her breath, even though she knew the answer.

"Nothing. This was just for fun, right?" Even as he said it, he didn't sound quite convinced. She wondered what would happen if she disagreed. Would everything change? She thought about Jake and how she wasn't brave enough to tell him that she loved him and wanted him to stay. Two months later, and she hadn't changed at all.

Finally, Peyton let out the long breath. "Right, yeah, of course. So, it's your big chance, right? Gonna win her back?"

He rubbed his hands together expectantly. "I'm gonna try."

"Try flowers," Peyton suggested with a smile.

"I'll do that." He looked at his watch and eyebrows raised when he realized the time. "I've gotta get going. One last kiss for the road?"

It was a bad idea, but she lifted to her toes one more time, for one last kiss. It was sweet, and as she pulled back, she knew she saw reluctance in his eyes.

She had to smile, as he hugged her once more and left her alone with her paintbrush. She turned back to the wall and contemplated the numbers. Someday, Lucas would realize that she was the one for him. Someday.

All she had to do was be strong enough to wait. She hoped it wouldn't be too long.


End file.
